Finding a New Church Family

Some Guidelines for finding a new church family. Firstly, check your motives. You may be tempted to leave church for dubious reasons. Check that none of the following is true of you:

• You are basically a wanderer and fancy another change
• You are angry because someone else was given a position of responsibility, which you felt you deserved
• A leader has confronted you over a personal fault or weakness and you are unwilling to face up to it
• You have had a difference of opinion with someone in the church and find it easier to move churches than to resolve the issue in a biblical manner
  

So what are valid reasons for changing church? Apart from moving to a new town, positive motives may include:

• The leader not being born again. The Lord doesn’t place his “sheep” under the care of “goats”
• The Bible is not recognised as the Word of God, robbing you of any objective standard for Christian practice
• Unbelievers are accepted into membership
• Baptism of believers in water is not practised
• The baptism and gifts of the Holy Spirit are denied as valid for today and their practice is attributed either to mere psychological factors or to demons
• Sin and unrighteousness in church members are allowed to continue unchallenged by the leadership
• The church and its programme lacks a prophetic element, maintaining routines rather than moving forward consistently in the life of God
• Despite your own efforts, the church is not helping you to grow and make progress in spiritual life and maturity
• There is tension, bickering, strife and party-spirit
  

How to Make the Move ?

If the time comes when you know you must leave your church, it is vital to do so with courtesy and integrity:

• Don’t just disappear or give a false reason for leaving
• Arrange to see the leader face-to-face and explain your reasons clearly
• Be firm yet gracious avoiding a “holier than thou” attitude
• Only use a clearly written letter if a face-to-face meeting is not possible
• Hand over any responsibilities that your leaving requires you to relinquish in a tidy and satisfactory manner
• Be sure, that you have looked beyond the moving out to what you are moving into
• There is no biblical justification for staying unattached, or for being a wanderer who drops in on meetings at a variety of churches without putting down roots in any of them
  

What is God saying?

God speaks on a general level, in his Word with clear principals of association, which he expects us to apply to our own situations with spiritual common sense and act accordingly. In these situations there will be no need to seek God in prayer for further indications of his will.

Other situations are less clear-cut, and this is where, in addition to applying these principals in a general way, you will need to have a clear directive from the Lord as to whether you should stay or move church. This may come through a growing inner conviction as you spend time in prayer; through a clear prompting of the Holy Spirit; or through a prophetic word (but beware of unchecked directive prophecy of a personal nature).

By all means talk to other Christians about your situation, but bear in mind that their advice may be coloured by vested interest or motivation which is not true to the Word of God. In the final analysis you must stay or move out of deep personal conviction, not because of what someone else has said.

“God is not a God of disorder but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33). He will not leave you in confusion over this important issue if you are genuine in your desire to know his will.

Changing Church/ “Just Looking” Evening/ Harrogate New Life Church /

(From “Stay or Move?” by Tony Ling. 1989)